I have to hate you eh???

I hate you so much that i couldn't make eye contact with my mom,fearing you may strike my mind...

I hate you so much that,I stopped kissing/wishing cute babies who ever I meet in my journey...

I hate you so much that,though it is your only photograph in my wallet,I never look at it..

I hate you so much that, I never read the past conversations that only filled my inbox..

I hate you so much that, I'm loving the things you hate the most! For example, the way I smoke, you hate it but I love it because Am hating you..

I hate you from the point where the deepest inhale of my tobacco goes..

I hate you so much that, I never even loved my life that much..

I hate you so much that, I stopped looking happy couples, watching romantic movies ,skipping songs that remind you again,because I don't wanna show my hatred by punching walls and bricks..

I hate you so much that I hate myself,because that's the thing you said you loved the most... 

I hate you so much that, though you stabbed me to death, I still breathe through the broken heart, to slap you saying I hate you so much..

I hate you so much that, I don't wanna end this writing and fill this page with the only sentence, "I HATE YOU SO MUCH "

Above all, I hate you so much because I have to make it done with my life, to stop myself crying again, to speak without a heavy throat always, to see my parents smiling, to check myself can I live like this or not...